In-Between / Fernweh Series: Unfolding, Reimagining & Becoming in the In-Between
Around this time last year, after graduating college and embarking on my gap year journey in Japan, I came across the German word Fernweh: a homesickness for a place you've never been. There was a quiet pull in this word that mirrored something I had been carrying inside me unknowingly, and I found myself returning to it often throughout the year.
I realized that feeling, especially as I closed my chapter in Japan and returned to Taiwan nearly a year later, was perhaps a longing for a version of myself that feels truly at home—not just in a place, but within myself. Between cultures and values, languages and identities, histories and narratives, I’ve spent the past few years living in the in-between: not quite here nor there, but always on my way to wholeness. There were countless moments when I felt I wasn’t “X” enough—identifying as Taiwanese, yet often feeling adrift in the blend of Japanese and Western influences; experiencing love differently, yet often feeling unseen in that difference; committing myself to education, yet still questioning the impact I can make. I would then follow into the spiral of deep self-questioning: Who am I? Where am I headed? Why do I care?
And yet, despite all the questioning, I carry the feeling of Fernweh, this quiet homesickness for a place I’ve never been, but trust I’ll one day arrive. A place where, I imagine, my heart will finally feel at home once I follow and reflect on all the traces that have led me here. It feels as though I’m departing from the known parts of myself, with the possibilities I’ve yet to uncover as my destination. And this movement through the in-between—uncertain, layered with endless interpretations—has become the place where I listen most closely, where I ask the questions that echo within me. It is where I begin to unfold, reimagine, and become.
In-Between / Fernweh is a series that explores the in-between—the space where I’ve been rediscovering myself, unlearning old narratives, and embracing new ways of thinking and being. It’s a collection of reflections, moments of growth, and stories I’ve yet to fully make sense of from my five years in Japan, which have slowly shaped me, grounding me in who I am and gently pointing toward who I’m still becoming.
As someone who has been telling stories through photographs and moving images for over ten years, I’ve often shied away from expressing my thoughts and emotions in words, partly due to a long-held insecurity around writing. But during my gap year, I began to realize that the essence of an experience—its meanings between the lines and subtle revelations—can’t always be fully captured through visuals alone. Experiences need to be given a voice through words, for meaning to be unraveled, for stories to be woven into understanding, and for growth to take root in the heart. And I’m ready to untangle all the threads within me that have long been waiting to be seen, named, and understood through writing.
To name a few, I plan to write about my fieldwork experiences across Japan—from researching the red-light district of Kabukicho to exploring izakaya culture in a Tokyo neighborhood—and heartfelt interviews with single mothers and asylum seekers living in the city. While I will touch upon the lessons learned during my university years, most of these reflections will center around my gap year, a transformative season of finding purpose through my active involvement in education in Japan, alongside youth of all ages and walks of life, from preschoolers to college students. I’ll also be exploring my why in empowering youth by designing spaces of belonging through Heartfulness, a concept introduced by Dr. Stephen Murphy-Shigematsu, who I met at Stanford in 2023 and has been both a life mentor and sensei after I started the Stanford Heartfulness Fellowship last year April.
And of course, my gap year wouldn’t feel complete without sharing the thought-provoking conversations and adventures I shared with my friend Mana. From exploring local communities and grassroots initiatives in Sado Island, Niigata, and Kameoka, Kyoto, to reflecting on the stories and values that shape our lives as we engaged with the layered histories of Nagasaki, to learning about the interconnectedness of the more-than-human world through birdwatching, interdisciplinary readings, and everyday exchanges—her presence has been deeply intertwined with my growth over the past year. (Mana is also on Substack! Join her journey as well!)
Through the stories I share here, I hope to invite you into my journey of self-discovery, where questions often lead to more questions and growth happens in unexpected places. It’s a space where longing, uncertainty, hope, and becoming aren’t just personal experiences, but deeply human ones.
Thank you for joining me on this journey. May we grow together in the in-between spaces, (re)discovering and (re)imagining ourselves as we find our way into places of true belonging—and embracing who we are, just as we are, in this very moment.
so excited to keep journeying alongside you🤍🍄✨